Second Round Update

Version 2.0 continues to roll along and life is good!  I'll go in for the third treatment tomorrow (3 out of 12), so I continue to count down with no nausea, headaches, or real sickness to speak of.  In addition, some of my brain is coming back to life so the journey has begun to lighten in several ways! 

My attention span and short term memory were hijacked by chemo many moons ago.  The scientific term for this is "chemo-brain."  (No, not really, but it should be.)  Its quite unnerving to be an avid reader who suddenly can't get through a sentence.  To find that once you could read four books at once but seemingly overnight you wouldn't be able to keep track of the antics of Dick and Jane.  Luckily my Dickens book club is on summer break anyway, and I am not quite ready for non-fiction, which I typically love.  But I have eased back into fiction and have fallen in love with reading again.  Not only that, but I have fallen in love with libraries and with turn-the-pages-smelling-of-musty-linen real-life books! 

Since I bought a Kindle I haven't read any other way unless it was on my iPad.  But just in case I was actually unable to finish a book, I decided to hit the library instead.  (Side note:  I've never been a fan of libraries.  I know - sounds weird for a reader but a bibliophile such as me likes to own, collect, possess, reread at a moment's notice.  You want to see it on your shelf, touch it...and then you run out of room!  So the Kindle then comes in quite handy because you still get to own it, refer back to it, and even zoom in on your favorite highlights.)  But since this was experimental I hit the library instead and fell head over heels.  I rediscovered some old flames like Wally Lamb, Pat Conroy, and John Irving, and my current love is Khaled Hosseini.  I am enjoying turning every page and so grateful that I want to.  I look for evidence of the "old me" wherever I can, and it feels so good to have this part of me back again! 

(I read this one twice!)

“I cannot remember a time when I was not in love with them--with the books themselves, cover and binding and the paper they were printed on, with their smell and their weight and with their possession in my arms, captured and carried off to myself.”                                   
                                                                                                 -Eudora Welty

Cocktails 2.0

The new round of cocktails has begun.  Version 2.0 is quite lovely compared to the first mix!  I went in about 10am and left about 3pm.  I have to admit that I did feel nauseous while I was there, but I think it was just anxiety about what was to come.  (Have I mentioned that I've watched 3 people get carried out on stretchers while I've been there for chemo?  It's quite unsettling and has made my anxiety increase over time.  But don't worry, there's a drug for that, too!)  They loaded me with enough drugs to knock me out, and following treatment I went right home and slept it off.  The great news is that I didn't feel many side effects at all so I am thrilled about that. 

Now, the cumulative side effects are really getting old, and I am so bored with all the physical stuff.  I try not to think about them too much because no one issue is really a big deal, but focusing on your body all the time is just tedious and dull.  Amazingly enough, as wacky as the side effects can be, the fact that there is something new every day has become very predictable....a lovely purple hue under my fingernails, eyelashes falling out, uncomfortably dry eyes...blah blah blah.  I wouldn't wish this on anyone 'cause it sure ain't fun, but can someone please tell Angelina that mastectomies are the EASY part?  Looking forward to my second! 
    

Update & The New Leg of the Journey

Sorry for the very late Friday update.  I think I missed several Fridays, in fact, but the life of a teacher is crazy in May!  Throw chemo in there and life really gets exciting!  We are still in the midst of faculty meetings, etc. so I'm not done yet but wanted to post a quick update. 

My last chemo round (#4) was definitely better than the previous one.  Although it always knocks me on my tush, I didn't want to crawl out of my skin like I did for #3.  #4 lasted about the same number of days (Friday through Tuesday), and I started coming back to life Tuesday afternoon.  That was about a week ago, and by this time in the cycle I have always felt my usual energy level and interest in life.  (I know that sounds weird but when I am in the midst of a chemo hangover I could care less about the world.  I can't talk on the phone, text, email and I can barely watch TV.  It's not a fun place to be.)  The great news is that I should not have to feel that way again! 

This week starts week one of the next phase.  On Friday I start a new cocktail, which will last for 12 weeks.  My doc says it should not make me sick like the old stuff, which I hope is accurate because it will be every week for 12 weeks.  Send me all the good vibes you can as I count down the summer!